Groomed for success [TheSunDaily]

Posted on 22 March 2011 - 07:12pm

WE want our children to achieve and learn as much as they can. We want to see them grow into successful and confident adults who can reach for and achieve their dreams.

Working out just how to make that happen is one of the biggest struggles for parents today.

We are often busy with our own careers and jobs, and don’t have time to sit down with our children, teaching them and passing on everything that we know.

And even if we did, who is to say that they would follow in our footsteps? Children today are more independent and often think and act differently from us, and have their own hopes and dreams.

One solution, of course, is to give our children every opportunity, to enrol them in every course available, from extra school tuition to music lessons, art, and sports. We want them to be well-rounded and able to do anything and everything we may not have had the opportunity to try ourselves.

But it is also important to make sure our children have down time, without having anything planned.

This is good for several reasons. First, it means that they get time to process what they are learning.

We process and develop the skills learnt during our rest times. Our brain sorts out and solves problems and helps us work through ideas.

It also means we are teaching children to manage energy levels, and not letting them work themselves into exhaustion.

Schoolwork still has to be the most important part – and needs to be the focus. For some children, this might be the main focus.

If your child is not academic-minded, then extracurricular activities can help them to enjoy school more. But do not arrange too many as that might give them an excuse to neglect their schoolwork.

It’s good to go with a child’s natural interests but also a good idea to gently suggest other ideas that can develop strengths and overcome weaknesses.

For example, if a child loves art and design, then by all means encourage courses in this, but also help them develop their ability to speak in public because once they achieve their creative ambition, they will need to feel confident talking to clients and to crowds.

Once you’ve enrolled them in courses, make sure that they will commit and stick to it for the duration of the course. This can help develop a good work ethic for later on in life. Before you enrol them, explain that that is the expectation.

It is also important to work out what your child wants to do as opposed to the family’s financial situation. For instance, if the courses and lessons are all very expensive and putting your family under strain, this needs to be taken into account.

There are other ways to learn new skills besides attending classes. Getting a book out of the library, or using friends within your network can also help develop skills. The key is to select activities alongside your child, talking about the commitment expected before selecting a range of tasks.

Ballet and violin may be good for your children to have in their skills bank, but unless they are especially talented, once they are an adult, it is unlikely it will be an activity they will continue with.

Think about the time investment and expected return before choosing their extracurricular activities carefully.